Preface
We need to confess more and profess less.
Van Jones
When I’ve asked people how they want to be a better person, the most common response has been: I would like to be less judgmental and less arrogant. The same observation applies to me.
The selfish pursuit of power, money, and status drives society. This dynamic inflames innate dominate-and-submit instincts. I’ve dedicated my life to countering this selfishness. Too often, however, as is common, my pursuits have been too much for the sake of my ego. This process is often unconscious or semi-conscious.
Usually, I’ve controlled my automatic self-centered biases and not allowed them to shape my behavior, which has been respectful and collaborative. At times, however, my actions have been too unilateral.
Regardless, I’d prefer not to experience the assumption of moral superiority in the first place, so I work on cultivating healthier automatic reactions while accepting that I’ll never be perfect. I may be more competent on one metric or another, but that doesn’t mean I’m morally superior. We may have political differences, but if I grew up and lived in your shoes, I might be like you.
I live the way I want others to live while accepting that they will do the same, persist in becoming as good a person as I can, and promote new social structures that will cultivate egalitarian, supportive communities. I’ll share my honest and transparent discoveries on this website and hope readers will find them interesting and, perhaps, valuable.
Although my focus has varied over time, my core goal has remained the same: to relieve suffering, promote justice, and spread joy.
However, I’ve failed to fully rise above my social conditioning. I’ve wanted to be recognized as a “great man,” for instance, as my mother told me I would be. I’ve been too worried about what others think about me.
Moreover, an undercurrent of irrationality has operated. My gut reactions have often been defensive. I’ve had trouble handling hostility directed at me, for instance.
In society, assumptions of superiority and inferiority justify domination, submission, and conformity. Winners feel superior they are essentially better human beings. Losers feel inferior. Winning is everything. Making money is a way to keep score; it reinforces belief in relative human value.
I lived in voluntary poverty and denigrated middle-class materialism until I started driving taxis part-time, earned a good income, learned to indulge in certain pleasures, and gained more respect for the middle class.
Society teaches people to dominate if they can and submit or conform if they can’t. Domination and submission are often justified and rational, but when to fight and when to relent, when to speak up and when to stay silent, when to insist on your convictions and when to accept the wisdom of the crowd, when to be true to your self and when to conform — these are often not easy questions to answer.
However, my strong tendency to reject authority often led me to refuse to compromise, submit, and conform when I should have. On the other hand, I’ve often failed to speak up when I should have, not wanting to alienate my friends and colleagues.
The pressure to conform is immense. People go along because belonging to their tribe gives meaning to their lives.
Society defines leadership as getting others to do what the leader wants. As much as I’ve criticized this notion, I’ve often made my own decision about the best way to proceed and got others to follow me rather than trusting the group to chart the path forward.
Disabling professional “people helpers” who manipulate and guide people on preordained paths reflects a particular problem. They’re paternalistic, patronizing, domineering, and condescending, which disempowers, fosters submissiveness, and undermines prospects for collective action.
These interpersonal dynamics weaken individuals, relationships, and organizations. Status anxiety undermines self-confidence. Efforts to be in charge erode partnerships. Internal power struggles fracture groups.
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Society integrates its many social systems into a single dominate-and-submit system — the System — that encourages everyone, for personal gain, to climb social ladders, look down on, exploit, and dominate those below — and automatically submit to those above or conform to social pressure.
The System undermines collaboration as equals and the formation of fruitful partnerships. We’re all victims of this programming.
The System is self-perpetuating. Its administrators are replaceable.
No one person or group controls the System.
Everyone helps to perpetuate it with their daily actions.
Everyone is a victim.
One consequence is the harmful exploitation of the environment.
Other consequences include resentment, hostility, scapegoating, demonizing, and division.
Many social, cultural, economic, environmental, and political problems are symptoms of this underlying root cause.
Politicians take extraordinary measures, including waging war, to stay in office.
Nation-states use divide-and-conquer strategies to maximize their power over other nation-states.
Hidden social structures aggravate and reinforce these patterns, which inflame innate instincts. We can’t see these structures; we must deduce them from concrete data.
Systematic social conditioning teaches people to adopt habitual, often unconscious, ways of thinking and acting.
Society promotes ruthless competition, callous selfishness, and hyper-individualism.
Individuals, organizations, businesses, and nations automatically seek more power, money, and status.
This widespread self-centeredness suppresses cooperation and mutual empowerment and leads to corruption and a fragile, top-heavy society.
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In an ideal world, we would use power, money, and status to nurture individual and collective empowerment.
Only justified domination and submission would operate.
We’d hold criminals accountable without placing total blame on them or imposing cruel punishment.
We’d make judgments without being judgmental.
We’d do what we believe is right without being moralistic.
We’d oppose others while trying to understand them and remaining open to negotiation, compromise, and reconciliation.
We’d take care of ourselves so we could better care for others.
Unlearning selfish dominate-and-submit conditioning would enhance progress and unity. We’d learn to collaborate as equals.
Working side-by-side on the front lines with fellow change agents who learn from each other while engaged in their communities as equals would be more liberating than training and teaching them in separate schools and workshops from a position of moral superiority.
Love is not enough.
If we were to face reality, we could create compassionate alternatives. Fully confronting our problems and their root causes would cultivate fruitful relationships and effective action.
However, developing partnerships rooted in mutual respect takes work.
James Baldwin declared, “I really do believe that we can all become better than we are. I know we can. But the price is enormous, and people are not yet willing to pay it.”
L. M. Sacasas, wrote:
Human beings will naturally seek distractions rather than confront their thoughts in moments of solitude and quiet because those thoughts will eventually lead them to consider unpleasant matters such as their mortality, the vanity of their endeavors, and the general frailty of the human condition.
Paying the price and minimizing distractions requires honest self-examination, a willingness to acknowledge mistakes, and a resolve to avoid repeating them. It seems, however, that most people are reluctant to peel away the layers of their thoughts and feelings and face deeper realities.
Intentional, explicit commitments to undo the desire to dominate and the willingness to submit or conform for personal gain could help people thrive. Making hidden realities visible could help compassion-minded people better protect the planet, improve society, reduce suffering, and strengthen justice. These commitments and new clear structures dedicated to unlearning oppressive conditioning could help grow a more collaborative society.
Individuals can engage in this learning alone, in the privacy of their minds, but discussing it with others helps. Putting feelings into words and having others listen solidifies growth.
A network of small teams whose members support each other with this growth could nurture egalitarian, supportive communities and a more democratic society.
As people push for more accountability from leaders and gain more voice in daily decisions, we could overcome divisive habits, build unity, and enhance our collective power. We could maximize democratic control in every arena and promote holistic democracy.
Improvements in each social arena could strengthen each other. New structures and institutions could organize activities to nurture compassionate action, mutual support, self-determination, individual liberty, community empowerment, and true justice.
Successful efforts could demonstrate models for others to adopt, adapt, and scale up. Each success could generate unforeseen ripple effects and open up new achievable objectives. Simultaneous action in every social sector could synergistically produce a positive upward spiral.
We’ll never fully achieve this ideal world, but it could be our North Star as we move in this direction.
This website, a continually updated digital book, elaborates on these principles and suggests methods for advancing them. Proposals are not blueprints but catalysts for discussion. Rooted in a unique worldview, the site integrates the personal and the political and affirms self-development as both a way to nurture social reform and an inherently worthy goal, regardless of consequences.
As such, this digital book aims to fill a void. I know no activist organization that 1) explicitly commits to undoing or controlling the desire to dominate and the willingness to submit for personal gain and 2) facilitates their members setting aside time to support each other with these efforts.
This project is my calling; I have no choice but to honor it.
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During my life, my main goals have been to
Pursue Truth, Justice, and Beauty
Integrate the personal and the political
Empower everyday people
Control the powerful
My methods changed over time, but the central thrust has been to address concrete needs as steps toward fundamental reform.
These efforts tackled many issues, including civil rights, anti-war, students’ empowerment, mental patients’ rights, public transit, food co-ops, housing co-ops, cultural centers, poverty, and economic security.
My fellow activists and I hoped our projects would eventually come together in national movements, which happened occasionally, though briefly. So I also joined and became active in several national organizations: Congress for Racial Equality, Alliance for Democracy, Progressive Challenge, Love Army, the 2008 Obama campaign, and the Iraq Peace Team.
To explore how we activists might be more effective, I convened a series of strategy workshops from 2004 to 2019, engaged in extensive research, shared drafts of proposals, interviewed individuals, circulated online surveys, published three books to get feedback from friends and associates, experimented with mutual support methods, and engaged in dialogue with advisors and associates.
I continually research questions that concern me, discover new resources, and post my findings and conclusions on this site. I present draft ideas for discussion and hope others will create even better tools that could scale up.
So far, feedback on this project has been positive, and numerous individuals have contributed substantially. I engage in dialogues with friends and associates and focus on making the site as good as possible.
I feel morally obligated to nurture respect for everyone’s core equality, cultivate cooperation, encourage compassionate action, help empower individuals and communities to deepen partnerships, level hierarchies as feasible, support the right to self-determination and personal fulfillment (which, for some, involves spiritual growth), and strengthen liberty and democracy throughout society.
Writing helps me clarify my thinking. I’ll continue to add to this digital book and make it as good as possible. It’s an inherently rewarding project.
While writing this book, my beliefs have changed considerably. My learning is an ongoing process. Many people have helped with this effort, which I greatly appreciate, but I’m responsible for the final edits.
I welcome feedback and will dialogue with an open mind. If you have suggestions or want to help or share public words of support, please express them in the Comment form below
--Wade Lee Hudson, 10/15/24
COMMENT
From: Ian Faloon
Subject: Right On
Message: Hey Wade,
I think this is a great turn. I read the Denial of Death 3 consecutive times upon first finding it. It has definitely changed my perspective on my own ego-machinations and my purpose in life. The thing I find most fascinating about it is that it leads to Kierkegaard, which ultimately leads to G-d, but Becker is too much of the generation that was rebelling against old religious strictures to let himself go there fully.
Another important book in my own evolution is The Perennial Philosophy by Aldous Huxley, which I believe should be required reading in high schools. Some of the core principles of all spiritual traditions from all over the world can be summarized succinctly by the concepts of honesty, humility, and forgiveness, with the latter probably being the most difficult to achieve routinely. So kudos to you for always re-evaluating because another ancient piece of spiritual wisdom is that enlightenment is an ongoing process that takes at least one life to attain.
All my best
NEXT: Introduction