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How Power Works in Our Daily Lives

Some people like to be in charge. Others are willing to let them lead. This push and pull shapes almost everything around us - at work, in schools, in government, and even with family and friends.

Too often, those at the top put their power and wealth above what’s best for the rest of us, and divide us by race, gender, and other identities to keep us from uniting.

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Power at Work

• Some people make the decisions. Others have to explain what they do.

• Some people's time matters more than others.

• Some people's ideas get heard. Others get ignored.
   

Power in Government

• Politicians mostly care about getting re-elected.

• hey use their jobs to make money for themselves.

• They try to beat their “enemies” instead of solving problems.
   

Power in Schools

Teachers tell students what to do and treat them differently based on:

• Where they come from

• How they look

• Who their parents are
   

Power in Healthcare

Your background affects:

• How long you wait

• How well doctors treat you

• Whether doctors believe you 
   

 

Everyday Examples

Power shows up in small ways too:

• When a man and woman get in a taxi, the man opens the door and talks to the driver

• At community meetings, some complaints get fixed right away while others are ignored

• At parties, one or two people do most of the talking

• In families, the head makes most decisions

• Friend groups have unspoken rules about timing and activities

• Store workers treat customers differently based on quick judgments

• Tall people and those with deep voices get more respect

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How Power Works

Power affects these main areas:
 

Getting Attention

• Whose ideas matter right away

• Who gets noticed when they walk in a room

• Whose problems get solved first
   

Time and Schedules

• Whose plans everyone else works around

• Who can be late without getting in trouble

• Who can make others wait
   

Space

• Whose comfort comes first

• Who has to move out of the way

• Whose space gets respected
   

Rules and Behavior

• Who gets judged harshly for their actions

• Who decides what's acceptable

• Who others copy
   

Getting Resources

• Who gets the best stuff first

• Whose special requests get approved

• Who controls shared things
   

Having a Voice

• Whose opinions change what the group does

• Who has to be careful about giving feedback

• Whose complaints get attention
   

Who Has Less Power

People with less power often include those who:

• Make less money

• Are people of color

• Are women

• Are older or younger

• Have disabilities
   

When people don't have power, it leads to problems like:

• Drug and alcohol abuse

• Being cut off from others

• Getting sick more often
   

These patterns continue because of how we grow up, how our systems work, and how we learn to see ourselves and others.
 

 

Building a Better Way: Working Together
 

Here's are some basic truths:

• Every person has equal worth.

• We're all part of the human family.

• What makes us different matters less than what we share.

• We all have many identities, but being human is what counts most.

 

The Power of Community Support

There's an old saying: "It takes a village to raise a child." This means children do best when lots of caring people help them - parents, family, teachers, neighbors, and community members. This idea works for all parts of life, not just raising kids.
 

Better Ways to Talk to Each Other

Speaking Without Hurting: Marshall Rosenberg taught people “nonviolent communication” — how to point out specific problems without putting others down with broad generalizations. Loretta Ross suggests "calling in" — talking with kindness instead of harsh judgment. Van Jones said activists should admit their mistakes more and lecture less.
 

Democratic Places
We can change our institutions to support learning from each other and helping each other. Schools can become places where:

• Students learn from teachers but feel free to ask questions and think for themselves

• Students get help with their feelings and well-being

• Teachers help students learn social skills and handle emotions in healthy ways

• Families and teachers make decisions together

• School buildings serve the whole community for lifelong learning

• All schools get what they need to do well

Churches and community centers can also practice democracy with collaborative mutual support..
 

Leading Together
Instead of one person making all the decisions, leaders can include everyone. Organizations work better when people at all levels can hold leaders accountable. This means:

• Regular meetings where everyone affected can contribute

• Hearing all sides of issues

• Respectful questions and discussion from everyone

• Leaders actively ask for and listen to helpful criticism

• Group members exercise leadership when they have good ideas

• Understanding that good ideas can come from anyone
   

Balancing "Me" and "We"

What's good for individuals and what's good for the community can support each other. When others do well, we do well too. This creates equal relationships with:

• Trust, caring, and respect

• Give and take on all sides

• Careful listening and honest talking

• Conversations where everyone gets to participate

• Group discussions that welcome all voices

• People learn from and support each other

• Using a "talking stick" to recognize the next speaker

• Honoring time limits for each speaker
   

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Making Lasting Change
 

In her book A Paradise Built in Hell, Rebecca Solnit shows that when people help each other during disasters, the good effects continue after the crisis ends. Groups that practice deep caring can help build the foundation for real social progress. Personal growth, helping each other, and community development work together to create positive change.

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Making It Happen
 

Here are practical steps to make these ideas real:

• Schools, churches, and community centers focus more on peer learning and mutual support

• Regular community meetings address specific problems with all sides being heard

• Mental health and addiction programs rely more on peer support

• Public spaces become centers for lifelong learning

• Organizations create ways for members to have real input

• Groups give everyone time to speak

• Small teams and groups build a Bottom-Up Community (see Chapter One)

• Groups open meetings with a moment of silence to enable members to focus, reflect, meditate relax, or pray

• Like-mined people for small groups to enable members to "check-in" with reports on their self-improvement efforts, especially concerning controlling selfish desires to dominate and submit.
   

The goal is to build communities where people share core values and work steadily for greater fairness and mutual respect. This commitment to worki together and be compassionate can help Americans "promote the general welfare" and move toward "a more perfect union."

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