Social
[This introduction discussed issues and links to resources in the Social chapter.]
Human beings are social creatures with multiple identities. Interpersonal interactions shape the quality of life. The more others thrive, the more you thrive, and vice versa. Self-empowerment, mutual empowerment, and community empowerment are interdependent. tst
Respect for everyone’s essential equality is critical.
In America today, however, money is a way to keep score and power is an aphrodisiac. Efforts to preserve the unequal concentration of wealth, power, and status characterize this society. Gaining social status is a way to prove yourself — to others and yourself. Individuals rank others based on arbitrary characteristics — such as “attractiveness,” profession, level of education, accent, skin color, gender, clothing style, mannerisms, and accents — and discriminate against or for them based on that rank.
The result is widespread hyper-individualism, hyper-competition, corruption, selfishness, elitism, arrogance, and oppressive top-down power that distorts and suppresses natural human kindness, which generally finds expression only in narrow, limited, and superficial ways. Society encourages everyone to climb social ladders and look down on and dominate those below for their own self-interest. People constantly feel either superior or inferior. Many communities become exclusive — belonging to one community makes it impossible to belong to another.
Even those who strive to decrease social inequality often operate in paternalistic ways. They assume an air of superiority and fail to nurture mutual empowerment. Parents, teachers, trainers, organizers, bosses, spiritual leaders, social workers, and others don’t fully facilitate the empowerment of their subordinates. Their egos are too invested in their own superiority. By the power of their examples, they suggest to others that having a superior rank is key to personal fulfillment.
Communities reinforce fear and anger, cultivate conformity, and nurture domination and submission. As a result, grounded on brittle foundations, they easily fragment into tribes that scapegoat other tribes.
With nonviolent communication, people identify specific offensive or irritating actions and report how they reacted. In this way, they avoid demeaning labels.
Institutions can maximize peer learning, mutual support, client empowerment, self-development, and community engagement.
Social institutions such as schools, faith communities, residential centers, treatment and rehab programs, and community centers can learn to maximize peer learning, mutual support, client empowerment, self-development, and community engagement. With strong partnerships on all levels, staff at programs with a regular client base can provide neutral assistance to help members/clients organize democratic communities that establish collaborative partnerships with staff and provide input to staff concerning their agencies’ operations, as well as organize their own independent activities. This self- and community empowerment advances the holistic and systemic transformation of the entire society.
While learning from authorities, students can question authority and form their own conclusions. Schools can incorporate family members and administrators into their community decision-making. Society can assure there’s no significant difference between “the best” K-12 public schools and “bad” ones because all schools are more or less equally good. America can boost its financial commitment to public schools and substantially increase teacher salaries. When regular classes are not in session at night and on weekends, schools can be vibrant community centers whose activities include life-long learning for adults. Mental health and substance abuse programs that rely heavily on volunteer peer support can be readily available to those who want them.
Public meetings with concerned stakeholders such as Roundtables focused on specific issues can be run in a way that multiple sides of a situation are carefully listened to and anyone in the audience can ask respectful, clarifying questions. This approach can work for any situation that requires multiple sides to listen and communicate with one another.
Human beings want to live in communities with others who share similar characteristics and steadily push for greater democracy and mutual respect. This commitment to solidarity, cooperation, fair competition, and compassion has led Americans to “promote the general welfare” and move toward “a more perfect union.” This worldview can lead to the establishment of democratic hierarchies that enable subordinates to hold accountable those in positions of power. Those with more status and power can support the formation of structures that nurture peer learning, collaborative problem-solving, and natural human friendships without any special training.
There’s no irreconcilable conflict between the individual and the community. The more they thrive, the more we thrive. The more I thrive, the more you thrive. The effort to care for others as we care for ourselves requires a steady commitment to maintaining a balance between self-centeredness and compassion. It’s not either/or but both/and.
Egalitarian relationships involve trust, compassion, and mutual respect. Parties give and receive more-or-less equally. They care about each other, listen carefully, and reveal themselves. When they disagree, they ask questions to better understand the other’s perspective. One-on-one conversations are dialogs, not a series of monologues. In group conversations, those who talk more step back and give space to those who talk less. Individuals learn from each other, support each other’s empowerment, and nurture supportive communities. Developing mutual relationships rooted in deep compassion can contribute to widespread, fundamental transformation.
NEXT: Personal