Social
Communication
Articles/Essays/Op-eds
“Supercommuicators,” Interview with Charles Duhigg
Whether it is expletive-filled letter writing or the kind of political campaigning we discussed earlier in the program, there's one skill they both require and that is effective communication. Of course, throughout history and still today, it's a tool of the powerful for both good and bad, but it's also crucial in all of our daily lives, in the workplace, in our personal relationships, and more than ever online. [read more]
The Essential Skills for Being Human, David Brooks
…I have learned something profound along the way. Being openhearted is a prerequisite for being a full, kind and wise human being. But it is not enough. People need social skills. The real process of, say, building a friendship or creating a community involves performing a series of small, concrete actions well: being curious about other people; disagreeing without poisoning relationships; revealing vulnerability at an appropriate pace; being a good listener; knowing how to ask for and offer forgiveness; knowing how to host a gathering where everyone feels embraced; knowing how to see things from another’s point of view.
People want to connect. Above almost any other need, human beings long to have another person look into their faces with love and acceptance. The issue is that we lack practical knowledge about how to give one another the attention we crave. Some days it seems like we have intentionally built a society that gives people little guidance on how to perform the most important activities of life. (read more) [Posted in Social/Communication) RELATED: David Brooks Interview
Speech is more than just about factuality. [Effective activists] try to point (people) to actual circumstances in their communities that ... the local community sees. ... You switch the vocabulary up to avoid the expressions that are connected with polarization... One goal of politics, a political strategy, is to infuse more and more words with this kind of identity.
So, as soon as your political opponent uses one of those words, in this case, climate change, people's minds shut off. So, they group people into groups and people don't listen to the arguments... The vocabulary affected policy... It justified treating children in terrible ways.
What Conversation Can Do for Us, Hua Hsu
Our culture is dominated by efforts to score points and win arguments. But do we really talk anymore?
...“In past eras, daily life made it necessary for individuals to engage with others different from themselves,” Paula Marantz Cohen explains... Cohen, a professor of English at Drexel University, is the author of “Talking Cure: An Essay on the Civilizing Power of Conversation” (Princeton). She makes the case that talking to others—sharing our stories—is how we learn things and sharpen our belief systems, how we piece together what it means to be funny or empathetic. Conversation can change our minds while sustaining our souls... (read more)
Why Your Social Life Is Not What It Should Be, David Brooks (behind paywall).
"...If a bunch of people are lonely, why don’t they just hang out together?... Once you get used to filling your day with social exercise, it gets easier and easier, and more and more fun... the fate of America will be importantly determined by how we treat each other in the smallest acts of daily life..."
Two First Things in Building Collective Action, Michael Johnson.
I have put 40 years into a building and sustaining an urban intentional community of substantial size—the Ganas Community in Staten Island, NY. We began with seven, reached 100 in the 90s, and settled in at around 65 ever since. I have also studied collective action groups out in the regular world, especially worker co-operatives and solidarity economic groups.
So, do I have anything useful to pass on? I think so. At least a couple.
For me there is one lesson that stands out above all others in starting a community or collective action group: the group that starts and sustains the project has to learn how to talk to each other about the problems they have with each other.
READ MORE
Books
Supercommuicators, Charles Duhigg, Interview
And one of the things that we know about conversations is that when we ask questions, when we ask a special kind of question known as a deep question, it tends to change a monologue into a dialogue because we really listen to the other person. And when we prove that we're listening, they become more willing to listen to us. [read more]
Platinum Communications, Warren Hoffman. Platinum Communications
Platinum Rule: Treat Others the Way They Want to Be Treated.
Know your audience first and then act. Avoid acting without really knowing the other person. Put others first. Think differently about how to know and treat others. This new paradigm is the new model for human development. This practice is transformative.
Transformation is never easy. There is a lot to do. Getting to know ‘how others want to be treated’ is challenging – and – you are the one who must meet the challenge.
Platinum Communications is the orderly skills framework that shapes the Platinum Rule for everyday use. It structures the wide range of communication skills that collectively position you to deeply understand others. Colorful stories from Warren Hoffman’s lifetime of helping others illustrate the concepts in action.
Websites
Charter for Compassion Civic Dinners
Civic Dinners brings people together over food for conversations that matter. A Civic Dinner follows a simple structure, with 6-10 people gathering over a meal to discuss a specific topic. The host follows a simple guide with three big questions, allowing everyone equal time to share with one voice at a time. This format is designed to avoid debate or dominant voices, and instead encourage listening and understanding of different perspectives to help build empathy and trust.
Talking about the toughest issues is critical to problem solving. But getting the conversation going and expressing our viewpoints in a way that is honest, constructive and, yes, civil, can be downright difficult. After all, it’s educating our kids that we’re talking about. For that very reason, the Frontline Research & Learning Institute is dedicated to working through impediments to progress — whether intended or not — and creating opportunities for civil discussion and action.
Grau Interpersonal Communications
Grau Interpersonal Communication creates professional development experiences that blend theory and practice. We transform communication challenges into effective interpersonal behaviors and sustainable solutions. Jennie Grau has provided the bulk of the resources listed under the Americans for Humanity website’s “Listening” link.